Oh, I am so sorry you are going through this Melissa. It sounds exhausting!

Standard shower filters only remove chlorine, not hard water minerals. Those minerals are binding to your shampoo and trapping it on your hair. When you add conditioner, it reactivates that trapped soap (causing the suds) and clogs your scalp. This triggers the hair shedding.

You can give these quick fixes a try:

1. Distilled Water Rinse: Buy a cheap gallon of distilled or bottled water. Use it just for your final rinse. Because it has zero minerals, it’ll instantly dissolve and wash away that trapped soap scum.
2. Switch to a chelating (or hard water) shampoo and use it once a week to break down the buildup.
3. Mix a small amount of shampoo with warm water in a cup before putting it on your head. It will rinse out ten times easier.

Let me know how it goes for you!